How to deal with unexpected problems or events that may arise on your wedding day or during the planning?

I take inspiration from this absurd period, very unstable, to give you some advice.

What we are having right now is a “PRO” level unexpected event. It’s much bigger than what we might be prepared to handle and, above all, we cannot control it or resolve it with our decisions or activities. It’s out of our control and what we can do for now is to limit the damage and get around it.

Instead, there are many more common unexpected events. Some can almost be “predicted”, so it’s possible to plan a solution a priori. Others must be tackled in cold blood and with a large dose of problem-solving. Still, others are harmless enough to become fun anecdotes to tell friends and family (after solving them, of course!).

Some examples: “Taken from a true story”

I want to start with some personal experiences that I managed or that I attended as a wedding guest (sometimes it happens to be invited to weddings too, and that’s wonderful!).

That time when the tablecloth of the BBQ station was on fire and nobody approached to put out the fire (to notice: the gas cylinder was open and next to the fire…). Luckily, at that wedding, there was a great BBQ Man (my husband) who launched himself to turn off the gas and put out the fire…

That time when I arrived at the venue and I realized that the grass of the dinner area was not been cut. I immediately called the gardeners, but they presented themselves very calmly a few hours before the reception. The tables were set up in record time…

That time when the day before the wedding the “photographer” chosen by the couple warns them that he cannot be present and does not bother to find a replacement. I looked last minute for a supplier who could replace him (and luckily I found one!)

How to deal with an unexpected event

I want to give you advice that you can use in every circumstance, during the organization of your wedding or on the wedding day.

Plan in detail and share all the plans: with a good plan A, and plan B, but also plans C, D, and Z, you will have the opportunity to better manage what happens outside of them. If all the vendors are aligned and aware of all plans, they may be available to help you manage the unexpected. An example of the most common, but also the most predictable unexpected event: a storm! If you have already decided on a plan B, the vendors will already know how to move everything indoors, or they will be equipped to cover everything waiting for the storm to pass.

Keep a cool head: free yourself from the initial anger that the unexpected event can give you. Scream, cry, and then take a deep breath and face everything with cold blood. Make a list (even mentally) of the options you have to solve the problem and choose the best one for you at that time. Sometimes it must be a very quick decision to make, sometimes you have more time but don’t lose sight of the goal: it must be the best solution for that moment, not in general (the best solution would have been to haven’t the problem…!). Be realistic: thinking that “it shouldn’t have happened” will not help you to solve the unexpected event and will only put you in a bad mood.

Ask for advice: you have available knowledge of all the vendors you chose for your wedding. You have chosen them so you trust them: ask for advice and don’t be afraid to contact them or to ask a few more questions. In the management of unexpected situations, the presence of a wedding planner is certainly an added value, physically but also and above all emotionally. She will be at your disposal, she can advise you on the best choice and solve all the hitches. By being in contact with all the vendors, she can find with them the best solution for you.

Protect yourself: there are situations that are underestimated, such as a disease, yours or of a vendor, or causes of force majeure that could lead you to postpone or cancel the wedding. Protect yourself a priori by reading all the vendors’ contracts, check if there are “cancellation” or “date change” clauses and, if not present, ask them to add.

What to do right now: wedding in the time of COVID-19 and advice for the 2021 couples

I deliberately left last the paragraph related to this historical moment and the wedding at the time of COVID-19 because several colleagues, vendors, and wedding websites have already addressed this topic explaining very well how to move and what to do.

Already several couples postponed the date of their wedding to autumn/winter or are looking for a date that matches all the vendors’ availabilities. Start from the location but don’t confirm the new date before hearing everyone else (don’t forget the Church or the Town Hall!). Only in this way can you be sure to find a date when everyone is available again.

What I am experiencing, in my “playing Tetris with all the vendors”, is the great availability of everyone in seeking together the best solution for each couple.

Then there are all those couples who are waiting to know what the next decrees will say and if they can keep their date.

Wait, although I know it’s difficult and it takes a lot of yoga lessons (online, of course). If it makes you feel comfortable, check for a possible backup date with the vendors but for now leave everything frozen. Also try to think that, in case, you will not be the only couple who have to postpone the wedding and you might have to choose a midweek date, maybe in a month not really among your favorites.

The new date will not make your wedding less engaging or exciting. On the contrary, it will be even more beautiful!

Then there are those couples who had to postpone to 2021 (or will have to do it). I want to give you two tips: the first is for the vendors. We know that 2021 will consist of part of the 2020 weddings and therefore we will lose half or an entire season, but these couples who are already experiencing a moment of difficulty, deserve all our availability, understanding, and professionalism, however, it goes this year.

The second piece of advice is for the “new” couples who would like to get married in 2021, or for those who are thinking about it (I want a boom of engagements after this period!).

Now is the time to start organizing, inquiring, contacting the venues that you would like to visit once the block will be finished, and the vendors you would like by your side (you can meet them with a video call).

Now you have more time, and some 2021 dates, because of the postponed 2020 weddings, will fill up quickly. As soon as everything returns to the normality, the workload will be more concentrated and it will be easier for us to follow you if we have already met and interacted. With calm, you can select the right vendors, and with a bit of flexibility, you can find the right venue and have the date of your dreams.

For all couples in difficulty with the organization of their wedding, and for new 2021 couples, contact me even for comparison and for a first consultation.